Archive for February, 2012

Parenting par excellence

Posted by on Wednesday, 29 February, 2012

Parenting par excellence
News from Worcester Telegram:

NEW YORK —  So you’re visiting someone’s home with your child and hot chocolate is served. As the hostess’ kids sip the delicious concoction politely and silently, your own little dear takes a gulp and promptly spits it back into the mug.

Admit it, parents: Something similar has happened to you.

But for Pamela Druckerman, an American mother in Paris, it wasn’t just an isolated incident. That embarrassing moment with her daughter, Bean — she would have kicked her under the table, but couldn’t be sure which pair of legs were hers — was one of many during her early years as a mother in France. There were years of fearing her children would act up, melt down, or otherwise commit a serious faux pas at any moment.

Because, as Druckerman explains in her new book, “Bringing Up Bebe,” French children don’t spit into their mugs. They don’t have tantrums in the park, they don’t shun their vegetables, they don’t forget to say “bonjour” or “au revoir,” and they most certainly don’t throw food (in fact, “French Children Don’t Throw Food” is the book’s title in Britain.)

Are children in France born polite? Do they come out of the birth canal saying, “Bonjour, Maman,” and apologizing for the discomfort they’ve just caused?

Clearly not, but Druckerman, a former Wall Street Journal reporter, set out to determine just what French parents…………… continues on Worcester Telegram

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Parenting at any age brings challenges
News from Delmarva Now:

As we have read these past years, parenting at any age brings its challenges. This father addresses something that every parent will face, and is never easy to approach.

Dear Cj,

I am a single father raising two daughters. From reading you, I think you are right that I have to talk to them more, but right now I don’t know how to do that.

How do I have talks with my daughter about changes physically that she will be going through when she doesn’t even like me to fold her under things?

Is what she finds out at school going to be enough to answer her questions?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I understand completely how confusing this situation must be for a single dad to think about.

I know that things have certainly changed since I was in school. I remember the day they separated the girls from the boys, pulled down the shades and showed us girls “the film.”

It was an animated and vague clinical description of what we girls could expect from our bodies in the coming teen years. I think we were all pretty confused.

I’m glad that things have changed a lot since then, but you do need to make sure that you have open communication with your daughter about everything.

With that being said, it isn’t likely to be easy to do face to face, so there are a couple of suggestions that might be good to prep with be…………… continues on Delmarva Now

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Adventures in Parenting: Are school shootings the new normal?

Posted by on Wednesday, 29 February, 2012

Adventures in Parenting: Are school shootings the new normal?
News from Suburbanite:

The Ohio shooting in Chardon Monday was the worst at a U.S. high school in 11 months, according to the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence.   

Eleven months?

When your child leaves for school in the morning, you probably aren’t worried their life is in danger. Most likely, you are considering all the things you must accomplish, or rushing off to your workplace, or embarking on a day filled with average occurrences. Your child is at school, well and safe, ready to learn and socialize with friends. Another ordinary day has begun for your family. Or so you think. Because why wouldn’t you?

You certainly wouldn’t expect not long after your child’s arrival in the school building, they will be shot with a handgun by a fellow student. Because, why would you – in your wildest imagination– think something like this would happen to your child, at their suburban school, in your small community?

However, on Monday this was the case at Chardon High School when student T.J. Lane allegedly shot five students, killing Daniel Parmentor  Russell King Jr., Demetrius Hewlin and injuring two others. Monday was not an ordinary day for the families of the five students, the Chardon High School student body and administration, and the community of Chardon, Ohio.

It wasn’t an ordinary day in America.  

Or, was it more common in our nation than we would…………… continues on Suburbanite

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Secrets of French parenting
News from Chicago Tribune:

Pamela Druckerman has seen a place where kids sleep through the night at 3 months, happily chow down on fresh fruits and vegetables, and behave beautifully during lengthy restaurant meals.

It’s called France.

Druckerman, author of the much buzzed-about “Bring Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting” (Penguin), is a journalist living in Paris, so she’s intimately acquainted with parenting styles on both sides of the Atlantic. She makes a compelling case that the French emphasis on good manners, structure and balance produces happier, higher-functioning families.

“When I was pregnant in 2005, that was exactly when the critique of American parenting kind of crystallized: this idea that we may be parenting too intensively for our own good, and these names started coming out like ‘helicopter parenting’ and my favorite, ‘kindergarchy,’ this idea that children rule the roost,” she says.

In France, she found, adults rule the roost — although, beyond a few very firm rules focusing on areas such as food, sleep, TV and respect, parents give their kids great freedom. The minor mischief of childhood is accepted and appreciated. She also found parents taking time for themselves and…………… continues on Chicago Tribune

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PARENTING: Do French children behave as badly as American kids? Oui

Posted by on Tuesday, 28 February, 2012

PARENTING: Do French children behave as badly as American kids? Oui
News from Muncie Star Press:

Un partie: Stop the presses! Two weeks ago, I reviewed and commented upon Pamela Druckerman’s book Bringing Up Bebe, in which she makes the claim that French parents, on the whole, raise children who are much more well-behaved, and at earlier ages, than their American counterparts.

Now arises the question: Did Druckerman do what so many social “scientists” do these days? Did she begin with a premise and ignore evidence to the contrary so as to “prove” her point?

A friend sent my column on Druckerman’s book to an acquaintance of hers who is French, lives in France and is a teacher in a French school, asking for comment.

The madame wrote back: “I have read your friend’s article and I can tell you the lady who wrote the book about French education” (in this context, the French use “education” the same way Americans use the word “discipline”) “can’t have witnessed some of the scenes we see in supermarkets in this country, and I can assure you French children do have tantrums.

“Every Sunday in church I suffer and am distracted, especially when I am the one who conducts the songs for the assembly, as some parents are totally unable to control their kids. Of course some young parents are very strict and control their children, but they are a minority, that’s for sure!”

She goes on to remark that child behavior in France has deterior…………… continues on Muncie Star Press

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Science-based parenting classes help moms and dads deal with discipline
News from Sacramento Bee:

“No one said it would be easy.”

So say the posters that advertise free parenting classes from the Sacramento First 5 Commission’s Birth & Beyond program – and ain’t it the truth?

The words “parenting” and “class” don’t normally spring to mind in the same sentence. Most moms and dads go on experience, advice and intuition.

There is also some science to it – an entire field, in fact, which has produced hundreds of parenting-education courses on everything from discipline to anger management.

“There really is a whole field of science that very specifically relates certain aspects of parenting at different developmental periods with important outcomes for kids,” said Laurie Miller Brotman, director of the Center for Early Childhood Health and Development at New York University Langone Medical Center.

Research has found that certain parenting strategies affect how well kids do in all sorts of areas, she said: “children’s behavior, mental health, physical health and academics.”

Brotman and other psychologists say the lessons taught, and the science underlying the lessons, can help everyone – any parent who has known the bafflement of a tantrum, the wish to help a child succeed, and the feeling of being at wits’ end.

All techniques, however, don’t fit all situations. Researchers say parents should try vario…………… continues on Sacramento Bee

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LIers share their best parenting tricks

Posted by on Monday, 27 February, 2012

LIers share their best parenting tricks
News from Newsday:

Content Preview Newsday 7 day/Optimum Online® subscribers click here for full access
Not a Newsday or Optimum Online® subscriber? Click here

Photo credit: Fotolia | Long Islanders share their best parenting tricks.

Like all new parents, when my daughter Maggie was born, I looked to friends, family, the pediatrician, baby books (you name it!) to find helpful tips or advice on how to handle different parts of her infancy. From sleep schedules to feeding routines, diaper rash and more, I was nervous and wanted to make the best possible decisions for her. And as a new mom, sometimes I doubted certain decisions….

Newsday & Explore…………… continues on Newsday

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Parenting experts discuss parenting a child with Asperger’s Syndrome
News from Allentown Morning Call:

Q: My 7–year-old son was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and I am very confused. I was told that many of his behaviors are related to Asperger’s, but I still get frustrated when he doesn’t listen or won’t stop playing when it’s time to clean up. He even calls me names sometimes. Can you help me?

A: Be aware that parenting strategies that work with other children might not work with your son, the Help for Families panel says.

“The diagnosis can be confusing,” says panelist Michael Daniels. “There is a lot of crossover with other disorders such as ADHD and with problems with social cues. Some children might not have any cognitive or verbal disabilities, but have trouble with the social piece.”


» The latest on traffic, delays and road construction delivered to your mobile phone. Text TRAFFIC to 52270! Message and data rates apply. Text STOP TRAFFIC to cancel, text continues on Allentown Morning Call

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The French remind us of how parenting could be

Posted by on Sunday, 26 February, 2012

The French remind us of how parenting could be
News from SunHerald.com:

The French are showing us how to raise children who will obey, throw few if any tantrums, and sit quietly in restaurants, listening while adults talk about adult things. Vive la France!

In a nutshell, French parents do such “revolutionary” things as establish early boundaries between themselves and their children, teach them proper manners, expect them to entertain themselves, and make it perfectly clear that they are not to interrupt adult conversations, and set clear limits. In addition, they are not reluctant to deny their children’s requests, and when they correct their kids, they speak with conviction. I conclude that my parents were French. All my friend’s parents were French as well, it seems.

Pamela Druckerman, the author of “Bringing Up Bebe,” one of the year’s most talked-about books (to date), is too young to realize that her description of French parenting is also a description of the manner in which American children were raised prior to the psychological parenting revolution of the late 1960s and early 1970s.

As a consequence, raising a child in 2012 France is no more of a hassle than was raising a child in 1912 France … or before.

Contrary to what American parents have been led to believe, effective parenting is not comprised of a set of “right” methods (which can onl…………… continues on SunHerald.com

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Jessica Alba’s strict parenting
News from China Daily:

Actress Jessica Alba with husband Cash Warren watch the Michael Kors Fall/Winter 2012 collection show during New York Fashion Week, February 15, 2012. [Photo/Agencies]

Jessica Alba is a much stricter parent than her own mother and father.

The 30-year-old actress – who has two daughters, Honor, three, and six-month-old Haven, with husband Cash Warren – admits she is harder on her kids than her ”cool and laid back” mum Catherine and dad Mark Alba were for her.

She said: ”I did have that dreaded moment when my daughter decided that every answer I gave her wasn’t a good one and she kept saying, ‘But why mommy? But why mommy?’, and I was like, ‘Because I said so’. And I thought, ‘Oh God, I’m that mum, I’m my mum’.

”My parents did use ‘because I said so’ and they were not strict. They were fun and cool and laid back and a way better time than me.”

Jessica admits she was such a ”super bad” child she once took her dad’s car and drove to a fast food restaurant at the age of 14.

Speaking on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’, she added: ”I got good grades and I was going to Bible study all the…………… continues on China Daily

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Parenting is no child’s play

Posted by on Saturday, 25 February, 2012

Parenting is no child’s play
News from The Hindu:

Ensure that your child gets the best out of life; understand that each child is different and celebrate that difference; foster their individuality; nurture their talent; tell them it’s okay to make mistakes; teach them to learn from their mistakes.

I was recently invited to give a presentation at a seminar, organised by a school in Coimbatore, about parenting in the digital age. I am not a qualified child psychologist. Neither can I claim expertise in guiding parents.

My having three children is enough to raise eyebrows. I became a parent when I was 19! That is the age most teenagers today rack their brains, studying for engineering exams, preparing for CAT or dreaming of a master’s degree abroad. Whatever the age one chooses to become a parent, the fact remains that raising a child can never be taught. It is a process that one learns along the way, and the path is fraught with pain and joy in equal measure. One needs patience, perseverance and stoic acceptance.

Babies are relatively easy to look after. All they need are — to be fed on time, their diapers changed when wet, to put to sleep and to wake up at will. It is in the ‘terrible twos’ that the woes of the parents start. Toddlers are ‘cute’ for an outsider but a handful for the parent. They have to be potty-trained, force…………… continues on The Hindu

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Mothers compare parenting notes on ‘Because I Said So’
News from Delmarva Daily Times:

SALISBURY — Four Delmarva moms are taking their views and experiences with parenting to the airwaves with a new public radio show called “Because I Said So.”

During the half-hour show on parenting-related topics, a mix of information and entertainment, Jenni Pastusak, Kim Hudson, Jackie Lanza Jennings and Cathy Bassett offer a mix of humorous stories, tips and suggestions.

“These truly are four marvelous women — smart, witty,” said Pat Tanner Nelson, a University of Delaware extension family and human development specialist and a human development and family studies professor. “A sense of humor is essential, and they are demonstrating this wonderfully. They are openly recognizing their shortcomings and are grappling with important parenting issues.”

Each Saturday at 2 p.m., Bassett, Hudson, Lanza and Pastusak discuss a range of issues that parents face from Facebook and cellphone use to whether to pay children for good grades.

Jenni Pastusak, a mother of two, said she loves connecting with the other moms on the show which gives her a chance to learn about other approaches to parenting.

“We all parent differently,” she said. “We can sit and make fun of each other, and it’s hysterical.”

The strength of the show lays in the ability of the four co-hostesses to compare how they raise their children, according to Bassett, the mothe…………… continues on Delmarva Daily Times

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Positive Parenting With Love: 92 Tips On How To Be A Good Parent And Raise Happy, Confident Kids And Teens

Positive Parenting With Love: 92 Tips On How To Be A Good Parent And Raise Happy, Confident Kids And Teens

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Parenting Sans Pareil

Posted by on Friday, 24 February, 2012

Parenting Sans Pareil
News from Indian Express:

My son is a five-and-a-half year old epicure. He eats broccoli, spinach and even karela. He learned to eat with chopsticks last summer in Thailand and Hong Kong. Until his fifth birthday, he was only allowed birthday cake for dessert. Now he gets a piece of chocolate every Saturday, and only on Saturday. In his almost six years, he’s been to McDonalds thrice.

My paediatric dentist is thrilled. But my mum and most friends think I’m cruel to be robbing him of childhood joys. Now I can say, “I’m doing it like the French”, thanks to Pamela Druckerman’s new book on Parisian-style parenting, French Children Don’t Throw Food.

Druckerman, a former Washington Post journalist and an American, finds herself married to a Britisher and living in Paris, where she eventually raises their three children. In Paris, she discovers most French kids sleep through the night from two months onwards, eat four-course meals at restaurants, never throw tantrums and have excellent etiquette when guests visit. She learns French mothers raise their children differently from “Anglophone” mums —and often better.

With a bundle of research and several chats with psychologists and local friends, Druckerman identifies two major elements to French parenting that sets them apart. Firstly, the French teach their kids patience. Infants are never picked up from their cots at the first whi…………… continues on Indian Express

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Related News:

Denver pediatrician prescribes ‘No Regrets Parenting’ to frazzled moms and dads
News from Examiner.com:

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5 Hilarious Parodies of the ‘Facebook Parenting’ Viral Video

Posted by on Thursday, 23 February, 2012

5 Hilarious Parodies of the ‘Facebook Parenting’ Viral Video
News from Mashable:

It’s been two weeks since North Carolina dad Tommy Jordan uploaded his now-infamous YouTube video, “Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.” To say the eight-minute diatribe punctuated by the execution of a laptop via .45-caliber pistol has gone viral since then would be putting it mildly.

The video now has more than 28 million views, and peaked the day after it was uploaded with 11 million on that Friday alone, according to YouTube. In its first week up, Jordan’s video got some 215,000 comments and spawned more than 1,000 additional uploads tagged “facebook parenting.”

Many of the responses were simply people opining into webcams, but some solid parodies emerged as well. In one, an actor gives a spot-on impersonation of Jordan as he and daughter Hanna spiral ever downward in a cycle of bitter retribution. In another, a woman who says she supports Jordan’s parenting methods offers a spoof as tribute. And there’s a cartoon version, too, of course.

SEE ALSO: ‘Facebook Parenting’ YouTube Video Is More…………… continues on Mashable

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Helicopter parents take a rest
News from Boston.com:

Sonia Schneider was a mom in the grip of a parenting mania. Eager to expose her young children to as many enrichment opportunities as their peers, the Brookline mother signed her preschooler and kindergartner up for so many classes last year that her 5-year-old was too busy for play dates.

“She’d want to read a book together,’’ Schneider said, “but I’d say, ‘We don’t have time for that, you have to get into your leotard.’ ’’ The extracurricular activities continued to escalate. Until Schneider finally hit bottom. “We started doing private ukulele lessons.’’

That was it. While Schneider’s kids are taking skating lessons, her days of over-scheduling them are, well, over. “I don’t know what happened,’’ she says. “I was so crazy.’’

Is the helicopter parent dead? It’s probably too soon to declare that, but a new parenting book, “Bringing Up B?b?: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting,’’ has caught fire in the parenting world, leading experts to report a growing eagerness among mothers and fathers to return to the less-intense style practiced by previous generations. It’s a loose movement, if it can even be called that, known as “free-range parenting,’’ that’s been simmering for…………… continues on Boston.com

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‘Facebook Parenting’ YouTube Video Is More Viral Than ‘Friday’

Posted by on Wednesday, 22 February, 2012

‘Facebook Parenting’ YouTube Video Is More Viral Than ‘Friday’
News from Mashable:

Move over, Rebecca Black. Make room for Tommy Jordan.

The heat-packing, tech-savvy dad who plugged nine rounds into his daughter’s laptop in a YouTube-broadcasted fit of parental retribution is rapidly blowing the pop star’s notorious “Friday” video out of the water in the 24/7 viral video derby.

“Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen,” uploaded exactly two weeks ago, has already amassed more than 28 million views on YouTube. That’s some 5 million more than the most recent re-uploaded version of “Friday,” which came back to YouTube in official form in September. But it’s a good deal less than the well over 100 million views the music video gained in its first life after originally appearing last February.

A closer look at the stats, however, reveals Tommy Jordan making a strong bid for viral-video supremacy.

According to a YouTube Trends

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Pregnancy presents a parenting dilemma
News from Austin American-Statesman:

Dear Carolyn:We have a wonderful 26-year-old cousin who just announced she is pregnant. My wife and I are very happy and have expressed our joy and support in multiple ways.

The father is 40. They have been dating for about six months but have not announced whether they are going to get married. She will definitely be a great mom. The dad may be great too — our family does not know him well yet.

Our challenge is how we handle this with our 10-year-old daughter. We have been and will continue to be fully supportive of our cousin; however, we also would like to impress upon our daughter that we hope that a man and a woman fall in love and then decide to get married, and, through their continued love for each other, they may have a baby.

How can we communicate our values to our daughter in a manner that in no way adversely impacts her views of her cousin?

— Father Is Perplexed

Dear Father Is Perplexed:You’re less perplexed than you think. In choosing to support your cousin despite a belief that a love-marriage-baby formula makes sense, you have already made the exact calculation that you want to convey to your daughter.

So, you just need to figure out why you’re expressing joy and supporting your cousin, instead of scolding, fretting over or shunning her. continues on Austin American-Statesman

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Carolyn Hax: Pregnancy a parenting dilemma

Posted by on Wednesday, 22 February, 2012

Carolyn Hax: Pregnancy a parenting dilemma
News from Detroit Free Press:

Dear Carolyn: We have a wonderful 26-year-old cousin who just announced she is pregnant. My wife and I are very happy and have expressed our joy and support in multiple ways.

The father is 40. They have been dating for about six months but have not announced whether they are going to get married. She will definitely be a great mom. The dad may be great too — our family does not know him well yet.

Our challenge is how we handle this with our 10-year-old daughter. We have been and will continue to be fully supportive of our cousin; however, we also would like to impress upon our daughter that we hope that a man and a woman fall in love and then decide to get married, and, through their continued love for each other, they may have a baby.

How can we communicate our values to our daughter in a manner that in no way adversely impacts her views of her cousin? — Perplexed Father

Dear Perplexed: You’re less perplexed than you think. In choosing to support your cousin despite a belief that a love-marriage-baby formula makes sense, you have already made the exact calculation that you want to convey to your daughter.

So, you just need to figure out why you’re expressing joy and supporting your cousin, instead of scolding, fretting over or shunning her.

Judging from your comments, you’re…………… continues on Detroit Free Press

… Read the full article
.


Related News:

Can moms with different parenting styles be friends?
News from msnbc.com:

Getty Images stock

What do you mean, you’re buying a stroller?

By Kim Brown Reiner

I knew it was playdate suicide immediately after offering a cookie to a new friend’s organic-only, no-TV son. I was trying to bribe the boys to clean up, but by the look on her face I felt as though I was pushing drugs.

“You let him eat that?” she asked. When I nodded yes she continued, “We don’t let our children have any sugar.”

It’s not as though I’m a junk-food fanatic, but during the terrible twos, cookies did tend to be my go-to reward.

And while I breastfed both of my children for months, I have to admit, when I later found out she was still nursing her 3-year-old I realized we weren’t destined to become best friends.

Playdates with new mom friends can seem a lot like dating; both the excitement that comes from starting a friendship and the dread from knowing something can go horribly wrong. When parenting styles clash, a cool mom we met at the park can suddenly seem like a mother from another planet.

It’s one thing to hang out with friends who make different choices from our own, but when someone else questions our parenting sk…………… continues on msnbc.com

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